As I Lay Dying - It is obvious that Addie never loved Anse but she married him anyway. So what do you say - how much should love have to do with marriage?
wow, i just finished the book and may i say, "wow." i actually loved the book. i would recommend it to anyone that has the same taste as myself. vardamen was my favorite character; i loved reading his chapters because he gave away all the secrets. anyway, back to the promt. What is love? God is love, but can we as humans truly understand love? if so, then we are saying that we can understand God. is there true love within any human relationship? this is something that i have thought about a lot and also that i have heard many sermons on. i personally believe that love is a choice. yes, if you try there is romance, but once the romance is gone, all you are left with in marriage is another imperfect human being who has vowed their life to you. when i think about marriage, love is not the first thing that pops into my head, committment is. when you get married i believe you are saying that you give your word to support that person even after the emotions run dry. i think that you should strive to always show love to your spouse, but do not rely on love to make it through. Human beings only know one type of love, and that is conditional love. in Addie's case, i think she just got married to say that she was married. she seemed indifferent to the situation completely.
Love is a lot of things. Love is a feeling, but also a commitment. Love is a choice. Love is tolerance and patience. At the beginning of a relationship with someone, there are butterflies and fuzzy feelings. Sometimes you feel like you are floating on a cloud. It is this great inexplicable feeling that is hard to describe, but it's wonderful. I believe these are the signs of a potential for love. But these cannot be the entire basis for a successful relationship. If these feelings transfer over into lifetime commitment, then that is love. I believe love should have everything to do with marriage. It is what makes marriage last. If you marry someone for money but can't stand the way they smack when they eat or play with their hair, it won't work. As Tasha said, humans are only capable of conditional love, so is money enough of a condition to put up with someone you absolutely can't stand? I don't believe so. But I believe when you really care about someone you can almost teach yourself to love them unconditionally. You may hate quirks about them, but you learn to appreciate the fact that those are characteristics that make them who they are. We are incapable of completely loving unconditionally, but we can come pretty close. Love is all the components that make up a good relationship that could possibly turn into a marriage, so I believe it is the most important aspect of marriage.
I think how much love is needed in a marriage depends on the people involved in that relationship. I believe that love is vital to marriage. They should be together hand by hand. Love should probably be about 80% of a marriage, then trust and everything else comes with it. Marriage is commitment, like Tasha said, but i believe that that is not enough without loving each other. If you don't love the person that you are married with you grow tired of them, and it's almost as if you HAVE to be with them because you vowed. Imagine spending your LIFE with someone you don't love. How would you feel when "The One" comes along? So I do believe that LOVE has so much to do with marriage.
hmmm, how much should love have to do with marriage? I believe that love shoudl be almost everything you need to have a happy marriage. Along with it, you should also have, commitment, loyalty, trust, and so much more! You wouldn't want to be married to just someone random that you don't even love! Half the time, those "non-lover" marriages never work! Thos are the type that go off to Las Vegas and elope and just marrie for the wrong reason, because after a while it get's old, and you find out who your wife/husband really are. You have to get to know someone for as long as you can, before you tell them that you love them, because LOVE should be a major part in your marriage! If you don't love your wife/husband when you marry them, then you end up living your life a total lie! You don't care about the other person, even though your "acting" like you do, your honestly not,and your just lying and you won't be able to live your life to the advantage that you can! Don't marry for the wrong reason, because you THINK your in LOVE!! I believe that marriage is a HUGE COMMITMENT and you shouldn't take it, if your not willing to live up to it!! Living it a lie, is probably leading you down the wrong road!! So basically to answer the question if i already hadn't, You need as much love as youc an possibly give to your significant other to make your marriage work, and when i say love, i really mean "TRUE LOVE" You should love your partner or you'll end up like Addie, and be dragged in a coffin dead to your burial site!!
We see it everyday, marriages fall apart all of the time. In America the divorce rate is 50% (www.divorcerate.org), why is it that so many "life-long" committments only last a few years? It is my opinion that people are marrying for the wrong reasons, they are confused with what is love and what is lust.
Love is both a noun and a verb, when used as a noun it is defined as: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Although this love is extremely important in life the love that it takes to make a marriage, or almost any relationship for that matter, is a verb. Love as a verb is defined as: to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for. Love is an action, therefore, it requires effort, as does marriage. True love brings all of the other neccessary ingredients for a successful relationship: honesty, respect, loyalty, patience, and trust.
Lust is defined as: to have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving. Lust does not stand the test of time. It can be confused with love, but unlike love, it falters and does not grow with time. Lust is selfish, whereas love is selfless.
I beleive that love is one of the most important things required for a marriage, but it must be the right kind of love, and it most certainly cannot be confused with lust. And, until people stop being selfish and start being selfless, marriages will continue to fail and the divorce rate will continue to increase.
H.Headrick... okay.. how am I suppose to compete with Paxton's comment? I believe in a marriage love is important, but as a teenager I am not sure if i completely understand the meaning of LOVE. As said by others already, I believe love is often confused with lust, and I feel that that is why so many marriages fall apart. Newly weds expect that feeling that they get when they are around their significant other to last forever, and lets face it, life is NOT a fairy tale. Yes, I do believe love is an important part of marriage, but love is sometimes hard to recognize. However, I believe marriages are based on ALOT more than just love! A few of these things are RESPECT, FAITH, and COMMITMENT! All these are important along with trust, loyalty, kindness ect... In my opinion if all these qualities are in a relationship then love is also! So yes, I do think "love" is important in a relationship, but "love" may not be the "feeling" that we all wish and expect it to be!
HOPE! Life is a FAIRY TALE, so don't ruin it for me! Since I am not currently in the market for love in terms of marriage, I really do not have personal experience nor do I have knowledge to pass on in that area, but I do know about loving others and I am learning more and more about that every day! What I have read about and seen is that love in a marriage setting is something more significant and complex than what I believe most people grow up thinking. I believe, and know, that in order to fully understand and experience love, that you have to have a relationship with God. Since God is Love, form where else or from who else will someone receive Love? Can the "love doctor" compare with God? To answer the prompt, I believe that there cannot be a true marriage without the Love that is found through knowing the Lord my God. A relationship with God=the understanding of Love=a wonderful marriage.
There are many definitions for love- Patience, kindness, thoughtfullness, not irratible, not jealous, unconditional, cherishes, lets the other win, fights fair, honorable, intimate, understanding, faithful, protects, forgives, responsible, encourages, sacrifices, and unity.
And yet it takes all of these to make a marriage work. It seems to be a miracle that you can take two completely different people from two completely different backgrounds and unite them as one. The Bible tells us that there are three people in a marriage-the husband, the wife, and God. It also tells us that love never fails. If this is true, then marriages who have the above definitions intact should have marriages that do not fail.
One fact of the matter is that all marriages are based on love, but what kind of love is it. For some it's the love of the other's money. Other's for how the other looks, what they do for a living, what kind of house they live in, etc... But like others have mentioned the only marriages that truely stand the test of time are those that have a mutual love for God.
How much should love have to do in a marriage? That is a very hard question with today's divorce rate. Paxton mentioned some statistics...not exactly the fairy tale Lance wants to be living. How crazy is it that couples with arranged marriages have a much much lower divorce rate than marriages for love. So how important is love for a marriage? Obviously not that important, but how important is love for a happy marriage? Love is a concept that cannot be defined simply because it cannot be put into words. Interestingly enough, so is happiness. How can you define an emotion? I think that is why so many people mistake love or happiness, for each other. I'm not convinced that society today knows what love really is. With all the technology who really needs to search for love? Or tell someone in person that you love them? Just send a quick "ily" over a text message and that'll suffice right? We've forgotten what love really is. I have to disagree with Chelsea's words that are used to describe love because they are acts that become when love is taking place. I believe that a marriage based on true love, the kind that cannot be done justice by words, only emotions, can then combine happiness into the love of their marriage.
Man I should really comment early so I won't have to compete with these GREAT comments!! lol. I agree that many people in our society today have forgotten what it means to truely love someone. People are rushing around at their jobs, school, and when it comes down to having a relationship they are rushing into things way to soon! Like Paxton said people are confusing lust for love. But some people don't care to love at all they care for material possesions. People who marry for money make me sick! I don't understand how someone can marry someone they don't love and it's even worse if the other person actually loves them! But not all marriages work people change over time and their spouses might not like the change especially if it was a big one. All marriages should have some sort of "Happy Ending" being happy with eachother is a major factor for a successful marriage!
absolutely everything....you can love a person and not marry them but you can also marry a person and not love them...but then how do you know it is love? if it isn't love then what is it? "love is an illusion, a vagarie of perception, a temporary construct of the feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify and existence that is without meaning or purpose...only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love", mr. smith (the matrix)....not really, joking...marriage is a by product of love...so again, everything
Love should definately have everything to do with marriage. If there is no love in a marriage then I say what's the point? It takes two to have something so special and if only one is giving their all to the other then how is it fair? For example Addie to Anse. She felt as if she was going to leave this earth soon anyways so why not just go for the next thing that comes along? She then led on to have a miserable life. Love is something that is SO special (not that I would know this..i'm 16!) but I've lived long enough to know WHAT love is and that it's such a spectacular thing to experience between two people.
Love and marriage...where is the line drawn. I believe that every marital union should begin in passionate but logical love. Although it is every ones hope that this infatuation be a lifelong emotion, it is not commonly the case. In fact, it only take a few years before the emotion "love" fades and most experience a downward spiral. How can one love in this situaion? Well since love is not only a feeling a commitment-to love through lifes trails, even when feeling no longer follow suite-I believe love is the foundation which marriage is built on, it's main pillars of support. To take love from a marriage is to take its purpose. If love is absent from marriage, marriage is only useful for procration and nothing more. Marriage is symbolism for God and the church, which is a union based on love, and if marriage is a symbol of Christ love for the church then this answers this sould easily answer the prompt. Love is marriage and marriage is love. Strip marriage of its love and you take out the core purpose of marriage, then marriage becomes only a union of conveniece, which is becoming more common sadly.
t. overpeck
ReplyDeletewow, i just finished the book and may i say, "wow." i actually loved the book. i would recommend it to anyone that has the same taste as myself. vardamen was my favorite character; i loved reading his chapters because he gave away all the secrets.
anyway, back to the promt. What is love? God is love, but can we as humans truly understand love? if so, then we are saying that we can understand God. is there true love within any human relationship?
this is something that i have thought about a lot and also that i have heard many sermons on. i personally believe that love is a choice. yes, if you try there is romance, but once the romance is gone, all you are left with in marriage is another imperfect human being who has vowed their life to you. when i think about marriage, love is not the first thing that pops into my head, committment is. when you get married i believe you are saying that you give your word to support that person even after the emotions run dry.
i think that you should strive to always show love to your spouse, but do not rely on love to make it through. Human beings only know one type of love, and that is conditional love.
in Addie's case, i think she just got married to say that she was married. she seemed indifferent to the situation completely.
C. Beer...
ReplyDeleteLove is a lot of things. Love is a feeling, but also a commitment. Love is a choice. Love is tolerance and patience. At the beginning of a relationship with someone, there are butterflies and fuzzy feelings. Sometimes you feel like you are floating on a cloud. It is this great inexplicable feeling that is hard to describe, but it's wonderful. I believe these are the signs of a potential for love. But these cannot be the entire basis for a successful relationship. If these feelings transfer over into lifetime commitment, then that is love. I believe love should have everything to do with marriage. It is what makes marriage last. If you marry someone for money but can't stand the way they smack when they eat or play with their hair, it won't work. As Tasha said, humans are only capable of conditional love, so is money enough of a condition to put up with someone you absolutely can't stand? I don't believe so. But I believe when you really care about someone you can almost teach yourself to love them unconditionally. You may hate quirks about them, but you learn to appreciate the fact that those are characteristics that make them who they are. We are incapable of completely loving unconditionally, but we can come pretty close. Love is all the components that make up a good relationship that could possibly turn into a marriage, so I believe it is the most important aspect of marriage.
I think how much love is needed in a marriage depends on the people involved in that relationship. I believe that love is vital to marriage. They should be together hand by hand. Love should probably be about 80% of a marriage, then trust and everything else comes with it. Marriage is commitment, like Tasha said, but i believe that that is not enough without loving each other. If you don't love the person that you are married with you grow tired of them, and it's almost as if you HAVE to be with them because you vowed. Imagine spending your LIFE with someone you don't love. How would you feel when "The One" comes along? So I do believe that LOVE has so much to do with marriage.
ReplyDeletehmmm, how much should love have to do with marriage? I believe that love shoudl be almost everything you need to have a happy marriage. Along with it, you should also have, commitment, loyalty, trust, and so much more! You wouldn't want to be married to just someone random that you don't even love! Half the time, those "non-lover" marriages never work! Thos are the type that go off to Las Vegas and elope and just marrie for the wrong reason, because after a while it get's old, and you find out who your wife/husband really are. You have to get to know someone for as long as you can, before you tell them that you love them, because LOVE should be a major part in your marriage! If you don't love your wife/husband when you marry them, then you end up living your life a total lie! You don't care about the other person, even though your "acting" like you do, your honestly not,and your just lying and you won't be able to live your life to the advantage that you can! Don't marry for the wrong reason, because you THINK your in LOVE!! I believe that marriage is a HUGE COMMITMENT and you shouldn't take it, if your not willing to live up to it!! Living it a lie, is probably leading you down the wrong road!! So basically to answer the question if i already hadn't, You need as much love as youc an possibly give to your significant other to make your marriage work, and when i say love, i really mean "TRUE LOVE" You should love your partner or you'll end up like Addie, and be dragged in a coffin dead to your burial site!!
ReplyDeleteWe see it everyday, marriages fall apart all of the time. In America the divorce rate is 50% (www.divorcerate.org), why is it that so many "life-long" committments only last a few years? It is my opinion that people are marrying for the wrong reasons, they are confused with what is love and what is lust.
ReplyDeleteLove is both a noun and a verb, when used as a noun it is defined as: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Although this love is extremely important in life the love that it takes to make a marriage, or almost any relationship for that matter, is a verb. Love as a verb is defined as: to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for. Love is an action, therefore, it requires effort, as does marriage. True love brings all of the other neccessary ingredients for a successful relationship: honesty, respect, loyalty, patience, and trust.
Lust is defined as: to have a yearning or desire; have a strong or excessive craving. Lust does not stand the test of time. It can be confused with love, but unlike love, it falters and does not grow with time. Lust is selfish, whereas love is selfless.
I beleive that love is one of the most important things required for a marriage, but it must be the right kind of love, and it most certainly cannot be confused with lust. And, until people stop being selfish and start being selfless, marriages will continue to fail and the divorce rate will continue to increase.
H.Headrick...
ReplyDeleteokay.. how am I suppose to compete with Paxton's comment? I believe in a marriage love is important, but as a teenager I am not sure if i completely understand the meaning of LOVE. As said by others already, I believe love is often confused with lust, and I feel that that is why so many marriages fall apart. Newly weds expect that feeling that they get when they are around their significant other to last forever, and lets face it, life is NOT a fairy tale. Yes, I do believe love is an important part of marriage, but love is sometimes hard to recognize.
However, I believe marriages are based on ALOT more than just love! A few of these things are RESPECT, FAITH, and COMMITMENT! All these are important along with trust, loyalty, kindness ect... In my opinion if all these qualities are in a relationship then love is also! So yes, I do think "love" is important in a relationship, but "love" may not be the "feeling" that we all wish and expect it to be!
H. Headrick
ReplyDeleteYAAAYY!! I'm so happy my computer actually let me blog!! HURRAY!
HOPE! Life is a FAIRY TALE, so don't ruin it for me! Since I am not currently in the market for love in terms of marriage, I really do not have personal experience nor do I have knowledge to pass on in that area, but I do know about loving others and I am learning more and more about that every day! What I have read about and seen is that love in a marriage setting is something more significant and complex than what I believe most people grow up thinking. I believe, and know, that in order to fully understand and experience love, that you have to have a relationship with God. Since God is Love, form where else or from who else will someone receive Love? Can the "love doctor" compare with God? To answer the prompt, I believe that there cannot be a true marriage without the Love that is found through knowing the Lord my God. A relationship with God=the understanding of Love=a wonderful marriage.
ReplyDeleteC. Montano
ReplyDeleteThere are many definitions for love-
Patience, kindness, thoughtfullness, not irratible, not jealous, unconditional, cherishes, lets the other win, fights fair, honorable, intimate, understanding, faithful, protects, forgives, responsible, encourages, sacrifices, and unity.
And yet it takes all of these to make a marriage work. It seems to be a miracle that you can take two completely different people from two completely different backgrounds and unite them as one. The Bible tells us that there are three people in a marriage-the husband, the wife, and God. It also tells us that love never fails. If this is true, then marriages who have the above definitions intact should have marriages that do not fail.
One fact of the matter is that all marriages are based on love, but what kind of love is it. For some it's the love of the other's money. Other's for how the other looks, what they do for a living, what kind of house they live in, etc... But like others have mentioned the only marriages that truely stand the test of time are those that have a mutual love for God.
ReplyDeleteHow much should love have to do in a marriage? That is a very hard question with today's divorce rate. Paxton mentioned some statistics...not exactly the fairy tale Lance wants to be living. How crazy is it that couples with arranged marriages have a much much lower divorce rate than marriages for love. So how important is love for a marriage? Obviously not that important, but how important is love for a happy marriage? Love is a concept that cannot be defined simply because it cannot be put into words. Interestingly enough, so is happiness. How can you define an emotion? I think that is why so many people mistake love or happiness, for each other. I'm not convinced that society today knows what love really is. With all the technology who really needs to search for love? Or tell someone in person that you love them? Just send a quick "ily" over a text message and that'll suffice right? We've forgotten what love really is. I have to disagree with Chelsea's words that are used to describe love because they are acts that become when love is taking place. I believe that a marriage based on true love, the kind that cannot be done justice by words, only emotions, can then combine happiness into the love of their marriage.
ReplyDeleteA. Wells
ReplyDeleteMan I should really comment early so I won't have to compete with these GREAT comments!! lol. I agree that many people in our society today have forgotten what it means to truely love someone. People are rushing around at their jobs, school, and when it comes down to having a relationship they are rushing into things way to soon! Like Paxton said people are confusing lust for love. But some people don't care to love at all they care for material possesions. People who marry for money make me sick! I don't understand how someone can marry someone they don't love and it's even worse if the other person actually loves them! But not all marriages work people change over time and their spouses might not like the change especially if it was a big one. All marriages should have some sort of "Happy Ending" being happy with eachother is a major factor for a successful marriage!
aklinetobe
ReplyDeleteabsolutely everything....you can love a person and not marry them but you can also marry a person and not love them...but then how do you know it is love? if it isn't love then what is it? "love is an illusion, a vagarie of perception, a temporary construct of the feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify and existence that is without meaning or purpose...only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love", mr. smith (the matrix)....not really, joking...marriage is a by product of love...so again, everything
L. Ledbetter
ReplyDeleteLove should definately have everything to do with marriage. If there is no love in a marriage then I say what's the point? It takes two to have something so special and if only one is giving their all to the other then how is it fair? For example Addie to Anse. She felt as if she was going to leave this earth soon anyways so why not just go for the next thing that comes along? She then led on to have a miserable life. Love is something that is SO special (not that I would know this..i'm 16!) but I've lived long enough to know WHAT love is and that it's such a spectacular thing to experience between two people.
Karlea
ReplyDeleteLove and marriage...where is the line drawn. I believe that every marital union should begin in passionate but logical love. Although it is every ones hope that this infatuation be a lifelong emotion, it is not commonly the case. In fact, it only take a few years before the emotion "love" fades and most experience a downward spiral.
How can one love in this situaion?
Well since love is not only a feeling a commitment-to love through lifes trails, even when feeling no longer follow suite-I believe love is the foundation which marriage is built on, it's main pillars of support. To take love from a marriage is to take its purpose. If love is absent from marriage, marriage is only useful for procration and nothing more. Marriage is symbolism for God and the church, which is a union based on love, and if marriage is a symbol of Christ love for the church then this answers this sould easily answer the prompt. Love is marriage and marriage is love. Strip marriage of its love and you take out the core purpose of marriage, then marriage becomes only a union of conveniece, which is becoming more common sadly.